It was 2009, I had lived with severe clinical depression for 17 years yet still had built my dream business, had an amazing partner, and had recently bought a great home.
What more could I want?
Yet I was dying inside and finally I broke in the most spectacular fashion.
I had been told that I had inherited the depression from my family and it was genetic. Added to that much of my life had been filled with almost every trauma you can think of, I was a successful mess!
I lost my business and myself when I had a massive nervous breakdown. I could no longer cope with even getting out of bed. All I wanted to do was die.
2 years of suicide watch followed.
As I started coming out of this darkest of periods I found I was completely lost.
I knew something needed to change, but had no idea what.
For the next 7 years I researched everything Depression and burnout related. All the latest studies, research and psychiatry papers.
I tried everything that looked realistic. All that happened was that I took one step forwards then all too often 2 steps back.
Two things that stood out to me were Neuroplasticity and Epigenetics. Basically that our brains can change over a relatively short period of time and that our thoughts can affect our genetics.
All of a sudden whether or not I had been born with depression didn’t matter. I could see that I could recover, it was at least possible in theory.
In 2018 I nearly didn’t go on a family holiday as I couldn’t face it. In the end I did go as I really didn’t want to let my wife and son down.
Boy I’m glad I did.
On that holiday I came across a name. Peter Sage.
When I got home I looked into Peter’s personal development work and something just felt right.
This was the point that changed my life.
Over the next 6 months I studied with Peter and the most amazing things happened.
I started healing my past, and changing my thought processes.
Long story short my mindset shifted and so did how I felt.
Anyone can end up suffering from Burnout or Depression. It’s ridiculously common now.
So what causes it?
The mental patterns we have, suppressed pain from our past that needs to be healed, and our limiting beliefs.
Once you heal and change the patterns and beliefs that are dragging you down like an anchor chained to your leg, everything changes.
Your mind can be your greatest ally when you use it, or your greatest enemy when it uses you.
Now I have a new life that I love dearly, helping others to rise up like a phoenix from the ashes and claim the life they deserve.
Luckily my amazing wife managed to find it in herself to stay by my side, something I am so grateful for every day and now we both have lives that in 2017 we would have said were impossible.
If I could give people 2 tips to help themselves start making a change they would be:
1. An attitude or gratitude. Write out a list of all the things you are grateful for, big or small. Do it every morning first thing. Going out into the day with a heart filled with gratitude opens the mind to seeing the good in the world rather than being so focused on the negatives.
2. Meditate EVERY day. There are loads of FREE apps like “Headspace” or “Insight timer” that have guided meditations. Meditation has been well proven to have positive effects on all aspects of the brain, from neuro-chemistry to calming hyperactive areas of the brain, and even healing the brain.
A common story for many that battle with dark times but Steve has certainly gone through a remarkable change. Being by his side from the darkest moments to the positive, youthful but wisdom fueled man today, I can honestly say that although an immense journey, everyone can walk that path. One step at a time, you too can create a change in yourself. Steve is now curious and willing to embrace uncertainty and change easily, he is truly happy and it is great to see. Thank you for showing others that it can be done, and I am proud to stand by him as part of the journey. (Stella – his wife!)